What started as a sweet celebration of Anne Kansiime’s ten years in comedy quickly turned into a full-blown roast and the fire came from an unexpected chef: Dr. Miria Matembe.
The former Ethics and Integrity Minister, best known for her no-nonsense stance on morality, brought the house down at Friday’s Comedy Roast held at Sheraton Gardens. With zero comedy training and 100% raw honesty, Dr. Matembe stole the spotlight and left jaws on the floor and ribs aching.
“I came here at 5pm like a serious person,” she began, “only to find I’d been invited to sit here with jokers.” Cue the laughter.
One by one, she grilled her fellow panelists with the precision of a seasoned stand-up comic. “They told me I’d be sitting with people like Salvador. The only Salvador I knew died long ago when I still had a black-and-white TV so I was shocked he was alive and drinking next to me.”
The jokes didn’t stop. Gaetano Kaggwa got roasted for his Big Brother fame, “This one shamelessly exercised immorality on live TV and then you people welcomed him like a hero. Even the President sent a chopper. I said, ‘Moral degeneration has started’”
Then there was GNL Zamba. “When i saw the hair and the chains I said, ‘Aren’t these the LGBT people they warn us about? Lord help me.” The crowd erupted as even GNL laughed along.
Sheila Gashumba who didn’t turn up wasn’t spared either. “Her father said she lent him Shs100 million when she was in O’level. I said, ‘Is she a child or a ghost? Where can a student get such money?’ And today I missed asking her that question.
Not even Kansiime’s love life escaped. “They showed me her baby’s father very slim, looking like a Muhima or Munyarwanda, she said, ‘This is like mixing Eshabwe and Enturire. It can’t work.”
Despite the savage humor, Matembe ended on a tender note. “I thank God for this little thing,” she said, motioning to Kansiime. “She’s turned laughter into a gift and she’s done it with integrity.”
While other comedians like Madrat and Chiko had killer lines “Deedan’s behind is a Lula.” “It’s a ruler.” it was clear. Matembe had just unlocked her new superpower.
